My oh my, such a long time away from my blog! We are nuts at the Center right now; in rehearsal for 4 shows and just had a read thru for a 5th last night. Awesome casts, great scripts, fantastic music and a lot of fun. This is our biggest season yet with 11 shows in the next year and record number of students/actors!
I'm also well into my first class of seminary and loving every minute of it so far. I'll speak more to that later.
While I may not have been writing much, I have maintained my practice of Centering and delicious studying. This morning I felt a bit called to begin my Centering time with a mantra that I lifted from A Course In Miracles, "I am as God created me." It was my companion today as I journeyed to my Center. I believe it's my favorite mantra. It reminded me of my 'fine-ness', my divinity and the fact that my very being is a mystery.
Let me open up the words here a bit so we're all talking on the same page. From the few followers I have on blogspot to the several people that read this from facebook, my friends have a pretty wide range of beliefs and views of spirituality out there. Since it's been a while and it helps me to clarify aspects of my own path, here is my generic view of life and God in less than 30 seconds.
I do believe in God, but not as a dude in the sky. I see God as All That Is. Just like I could be considered a God to the 100 trillion cells in my body. I am the amalgamation of those little life forms. As a human, I am but one cell in the entire universe. I can't possibly expect my 100 trillion cells to know the fullness of Me, but they are a part of me and without them I would not be. I see God in the same way. To me, it is evident that something intelligent is going on here, simply because we are here and we are intelligent. We are expressions of that fullness of the universe. It's all a beautiful mystery.
Everyone is on their own journey and will have their own views of God or not. My views are right for me, yours are right for you. Now let's eat!
I spend a great deal of my life 'in the world.' I focus on the next task at hand. I sometimes worry about paying the mortgage. I like to buy fun stuff. I enjoy wine and conversation with friends. I love music. Most of all, I love my wife and kid. But there is more to this world than all of that stuff. Sometimes I get so bogged down with the little, stupid events of my life that I end up feeling lost and sometimes quite depressed about it all.
That's where my prayer life and Centering practice comes in. I know in my bones that I am more than I usually present to the world. I have discovered through my own experience that I am much more than I can even describe. My thoughts are just thoughts. My body is just a body. My rugged good looks are my rugged good looks, my bald head is just a bald head. While those things can be descriptors of themselves, they cannot describe ME. My thoughts describe the contents of my mind. But I am much more than my mind. I am not my thoughts they are just little flits of information swirling around in my consciousness.
My body describes my body. Stiff and flabby. But I am not that body. While it is a part of me, it is certainly not me at my core. My body is simply the vehicle for me moving around on this planet. It's what I do with that body that counts. Do I bless with it? Do I condemn with it?
My rugged good looks speak for themselves. (:
At my Center, beyond all the thoughts about myself and others, lies ME. The open, spacious awareness that allows all of this to be. THIS is my true identity. This is the big mystery. You can actually get to a point where you can BE without all of the instrusion of thoughts. This is a magical 'place.' It is a place that I love most. It is also a place that I need to visit more often. My mantra today helped me get there. "I am as God created me." That phrase, repeated everytime I started thinking about tacos, or the presidential race or my upcoming vacation....that phrase reminded me that at my Center, I am as I was created. Nothing can change that. Some people may have trouble with the word, 'created.' That's ok. I don't. I did not create myself, that I know. I have trouble creating much simpler things than me. Maybe at my deepest level...at my core...I am just the universe EXPRESSING as me. I can buy that too. But I don't need to get caught up in words. As I say to my students, "If I were in charge of running all of the processes in my body, I wouldn't last 10 seconds. I know I'd forget one of the 500 functions of the liver." I didn't create me. I didn't create the process of creation. At least not the me that's writing these words.
It is a good reminder for me that while I may go through the roller coaster movements of life that at my core, I am as I am. There is a part of me that has not changed, ever. I tell you, the person that I see in the mirror is not the same person that I saw when I was 8 years old, but it's still the same ME looking out through those eyes. I am noticing several effects of aging beginning to make their ways known to my body, but even with all of that starting to occur, it's still ME inside. The me inside has been through all of the experiences of this incredible lifetime and still is just me. No matter what.
It does me good to remember this. It puts WHO I AM in perspective. Let the thoughts come...and go. Let the petty FB presidential stuff come....and go. Let the feelings of stress come....and go. All of those things live and move and have their being in ME. They are just 'things' in the awareness that I am. If I stay with WHO I AM, I can remain unaffected and simply watch (and enjoy) the view.
I am as God created me. I am as I am. Things, thoughts, bodies may come and go. I remain. Centered. Ready for all of it.
Blessings!
No comments:
Post a Comment