Today's post will be a bit short as I am behind on getting everything ready for our production of Schoolhouse Rock. But I have promised myself that I would make this a priority in my life; a non-negotiable. So everyday I make some time to Center and everyday I make sometime to post, no matter what.
My session was full of thought today. I kept returning to my many tasks waiting to get completed for our show tomorrow night and our final rehearsal today. So my 'sacred word' was nearly a mantra today. I'm reminded of the story of the nun who said to Fr. Thomas Keating after her first session, "Father, I'm a complete failure at this. I had at least 10,000 thoughts. I had to keep repeating my sacred word over and over." To which he replied, "That is not failure. You returned to God 10,000 times in 20 minutes."
I like that.
I wanted to discuss the meaning of PRAYER today. This practice that I am undertaking is called Centering Prayer, but it is certainly not the type of prayer that I was raised with growing up. That prayer had a lot of me talking to God, usually begging for a snow day and a girlfriend. Centering Prayer uses only one word. The sacred word. And it is only sacred because it reminds to you simply surrender and return to sitting in God. It can be any word of one or two syllables. It shouldn't carry much of an emotional charge for you either; all the easier to get you identified with thought. "Peace. Love. God. Christ. Abba. Gum. Popcorn...." Any of those would do...unless you are really hungry.
What is prayer? There are certainly different types, but I think all prayer can be boiled down to 'communion.' Bringing yourself to a 'space' of openness and joining with God, your higher self, Christ, Buddha, etc. Whatever happens in that space is what makes the different type of prayer. Centering prayer simply honors that space and allows us to eventually bring some of that space into our world. (more on that space at a later time...it's a biggy)
But what about the prayer for a friend? What about praying for goodness in your life? What about praying for the Cubbies to 'bring it home!'? I think all of those prayers have a place in our spiritual life. I have mostly let go of praying for snowdays or praying for other people to be different than they are, but I still pray for my students at the Center for every show. I still pray for healing when I or a loved one am ill. I pray for guidance. I pray to let off steam. I pray a lot.
But I tell you, I have had long runs of not praying at all. Mainly because my definition of God has shifted so much from my youth. I don't believe in the God who will grant me millions in the lottery. I stopped asking for things awhile back. But I don't think there's a damn thing wrong with asking for any of that either. I think whatever level of consciousness you are at; there is a form of prayer that goes with it. Sometimes when I'm feeling overwhelmed with life situations, I will pray for things; like I'm asking my daddy to fix it for me. Sometimes I'm feeling calm and centered and my only prayer is for one of spreading peace and compassion in the world. Sometimes I don't use any words at all. I just rest in God/Life and let that surrender be my prayer. That is my favorite kind of prayer. We have different levels of consciousness and mood everyday and it seems to me there's a prayer for every one.
I do believe prayer changes things. I do believe that the entire Universe will shift in response to prayer. I've had too many prayers answered in an 'in your face' type of way to doubt the power of prayer. When my former employer told me she was closing up shop, I went home and got on my knees and prayed. For guidance. Do I continue to teach? Should I focus more on the Center? Where should I go? The very next day I got a call from my former boss at Blackhawk College asking me if there was ANY WAY that I would be interested in returning. She had no knowledge of my circumstances. Some would say that was only a coincidence. I would say that those people do not allow for enough magic in their lives. I've had countless experiences like this. Usually when I am forced to my knees and asking for help.
I do not believe that God/Life/Universe will only come to provide guidance by forcing me to my knees. To me, that whole going down to my knees thing is about me getting out of the way of myself. Realizing that I (my small, scared self) do not have the answers to everything. Tina has told me that she could feel when people were praying for her when she was in the hospital. She could actually feel the love and energy coming her way. I don't doubt it for a second. Her recovery was amazing.
I was up this morning at 2am for a bit, so I decided to pray. It was an amazing feeling as I began to quiet myself and open up to God/Life/Universe/Mystery. I could actually feel my inner body start to vibrate at a higher, more pristine level. So I prayed for my friends who are struggling. I prayed for the people in my life who piss me off without end. I prayed for my little boy. I prayed for my wife. I fell asleep from that space. I woke up in joy this morning. I woke up at peace.
So what if there is no God out there? What if my praying is all self-delusion, mind over matter? I don't care. I feel a connection with something. I feel me opening up to a deeper part of myself. As I have said, I believe God to be a Mystery. I doubt we'll ever have any proof. Other than those who bring divine attributes like love, peace and compassion through into this world. And honestly, that's all the proof I'll ever need.
Well, I gotta go! The show must go on! Please say a prayer for us to let our light shine this weekend! To let go of being nervous and to be the best US that we can be! I will say that same prayer for you!
Blessings,
Dino
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